Bad Karaoke Night (Is there any other kind?)

This story out of Butte Montana demonstrates why karaoke is evil, and should be banned. Monday night at the Party Palace, 1 West Park, transsexual Kyle “Tawnie” Riekena claims she/he was beaten down and had her/his wig stolen while attempting to use the woman’s bathroom. Party Palace owner Ted Deshner disagrees with parts of “Tawnie’s” story.

“Tawnie” entered the bar Monday night for a drink and some song stylizing with a male companion. Monday is the traditional karaoke night at thousands of bars and taverns across the country. I have a little pet theory that “hate crimes” increase on Mondays during football season by 300% and this is a direct result of mixing Monday Night Football and the kooky Japanese sport of karaoke. The demographic divide between MNF fans and karaoke fans will not be bridged until a world class Japanese quarterback emerges to lead these two groups to the promise land.

After finishing his/her drink with his/her male companion, “Tawney” made a request to sing the karaoke song, “Killing Me Softly” by Roberta Flack. The first thing I learned about karaoke, in my long descent into this gritty subculture is that karaoke is all about song selection. Now far be it from me to “blame the victim” but come on, a transsexual in a bar in the toughest town in America should stay far, far, far away from a song entitled “Killing Me Softly”. “Papa Don’t Preach”, “Groove Is in the Heart”, and pretty much anything from the “Yentl” or “Pricilla” sound track will work, but come on, he/she is lucky he/she only lost his/her wig.

Soon after requesting the song, “Tawnie” entered the woman’s bathroom and allegedly startled a woman who told Deshner a man was in the women’s bathroom. Deshner then interrupted the karaoke, got on the microphone to tell all men to stay out of the women’s bathroom. Again, drawing from my vast karaoke spectator experience, interrupting karaoke for any reason is a bad idea. Deshner is lucky the patrons didn’t riot and burn the place down.

Deshner is quoted as saying, “If you have a penis, you should not go into the women’s bathroom. I don’t care if you have a doctor’s excuse.” Apparently “Tawney” has a note from her doctor and her counselor that explains his/her “condition” and gives him/her the right to use the women’s bathroom. I also have a note from a counselor that says I’m sane. I can’t tell you how handy that is….

After Deshner made his announcement, the karaoke hooligans pushed “Tawney” out the door and onto the sidewalk. The karaokigans hit and kicked her. “Tawney” is quoted as saying, “Imagine being pushed out a door and to your car by a tidal wave of human beings.” Deshner claimed he did not go outside, so he doesn’t know what happened to “Tawney”. He does know that someone did take “Tawnie’s” wig.

Deshner claimed his actions where not motivated by prejudice. He said, “I don’t want to chase anybody out, I want to make money.” This statement rings a little untrue to these ears. If he really wants to make money and not chase anybody out, why does he offer karaoke every Monday night?

The final piece of this story is pure gold. “Tawney” plans to continue living in Butte, were she is seeking work. “Tawney” says, “I’m treated great. I’m told I look good. I’m compared to Victoria’s secret models a lot.” He/She is also determined to complete his/her sex change. “It will happen short of death,” Tawney said.

I sense a Lifetime movie deal in the works. Working title – Karaoke Caress – The Tawney Riekena Story.