The winter of Calamity...

This has definitely been the kind of winter that tries men's soul. This is a small list of the kind of crap I've had to deal with over the last few months:
1.) The first wind and snow storm of the season which caused one of the trees on my property to crack, lean, and threaten to knock out the power to me and my neighborhood. Tree removal cost me $500 bucks!
2.) The second wind storm knocked down a number of trees and knocked out our power for 8 days. Due to the power outage, I started a small fire in my living room that filled the house up with smoke. You would think that not having power for 1/4 of the month would lead to a lower power bill, but you would be wrong.
3.) I got some sort of strange flu last week that caused me to somehow faint, fall over, and arrest my fall with my head, causing my beautiful face to be messed up. I cut my eye, nose, and chin, and got a sweet black eye.
4.) I have found it impossible to get my hair cut. Every time I attempt to get my hair cut the places are either so crowed, that their is a line out the door or the place is closed entirely.

When I find the Jackass that put the hex on me, I'm going to stick em with my pig sticker. Be warned!